I’m going hiking with Joe and my cousin and her friend, and afterward - at some point during the day- Joe and I are going to see Star Trek.

So, my cousin and I tell my mom my plans because she’s involved with half of them. And my mom goes, “Yeah, sure whatever.”

And I leave the living room to the kitchen to get some water and I hear: “They’re going unsupervised?”

To which my cousin goes, “Yeah..? What’re they gonna do? Whip it out in the theatre and have at it?”

And I’m choking on my water between the kitchen and the living room and then my mom goes, “No, he has his own car. They could stop somewhere and do it in the car! I know, I was a teenager, I was a ho-bag before I became his mom.”

“… I was a ho-bag…”

My cousin and I are just dying of laughter at this point and I’m like, “Mom! I have no intention of doing such right now! We’ve only been together for not even a month yet! I’ve never even kissed anyone before!”

And then my cousin goes “Make sure you wrap it up before you get up in it!” and I’m beyond tears at this point, I legitimately feared that I was going to die before it even happened.

And that was the high point of my night.

just-laff:

egberts:

if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket

you are one of the great thinkers of our time

In your pocket though..?

So, if you decided you wanted to buy a car or, better yet, a house, I don’t think your pockets would be able to accommodate that. I suppose it could manifest in the form of a check, but technically that would violate not only the wish itself, but the fact that there’s generally some tragic backlash when it comes to a genie granting a wish.

Moreover, what if came in the form of massive amounts of pennies?

There’s just loads of possible complications there.